The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope. Lewis Black More Quotes by Lewis Black More Quotes From Lewis Black If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college. Lewis Black horse college years I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people. Lewis Black bottles play people I don't buy the 'at 60 it's great to have kids' thing. I don't buy the line that has been thrown down - 'You can have a kid at any time.' That doesn't mean you should. Lewis Black lines mean kids When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life until Dan Quayle was elected Vice President of the United States. She said, if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college. Lewis Black horse college years When I'm funny is when I'm angriest. Lewis Black I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not. Lewis Black my-friends normal feels I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. Lewis Black my-own Ninety percent of a shirt that not only was bright purple and green but with a design on it that, if you moved too quickly, might cause a seizure in an unsuspecting onlooker. Lewis Black purple green design I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been. Lewis Black has-beens bigs guy Everybody's family has different values. Lewis Black different-values values different I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic. Lewis Black folks panic thinking I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke. Lewis Black strokes It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff. Lewis Black political stuff pay I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute. Lewis Black mergers insane stuff One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich. Lewis Black rich stills tomorrow Parenting isn't just parenting your own child. Lewis Black children Self-love is a big part of golf. Lewis Black self golf love-is Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity. Lewis Black obvious stupidity stupid I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. Lewis Black comic jokes odd I've seen the end of the universe, and it happens to be in the United States and, oddly enough, it's in Houston, Texas. I know - I was shocked, too. Imagine my surprise when I left a comedy club one day and walked to the end of the block, and there on one corner was a Starbucks, and across the street from that Starbucks, in the exact same building as that Starbucks, there was - a Starbucks. I looked back and forth, thinking the sun was playing tricks with my eyes. That there was a Starbucks across from a Starbucks - and that, my friends, is the end of the universe. Lewis Black block eye thinking
