The decision as to what's funny and what is not funny shall rest solely with Mr. Freberg. Stan Freberg More Quotes by Stan Freberg More Quotes From Stan Freberg Most folks call them green onions, but Stan Freberg folks onions green Well, we're all a little hostile every now and then, some of us are able to sublimate, others of us can't adjust. You know how it is. Stan Freberg now-and-then able littles All women are troublemakers who take the money their husbands need desperately for a new and better speaker, and selfishly squander it on things like shoes for the children, homogenized milk, or perhaps A SECOND DRESS! Stan Freberg shoes husband children Black is a great color!!! it sets off your wig! Stan Freberg wigs black color The story of Little Blue Riding Hood is true. Only the color has been changed to prevent an investigation. Stan Freberg riding color blue You can make sounds and music out of pretty much anything with a little imagination and putting your mind to it! Stan Freberg sound-and-music imagination mind Who are taking to the witch burning Saturday night? Stan Freberg witch burning night When he was a little kid, he was a fat, spoiled kid. I can tell the type. Stan Freberg fat kid tell i-can You have to prove that the Freberg way will sell their product better than if they just did straight advertising. Whenever I give a lecture or seminar, that's what I try to get across to people. I hear very few radio commercials that sound like I could have written them or that they got the idea. Stan Freberg better you people way A lot of television stuff is mean-spirited, and I think that's how political advertising got so mean-spirited, to where people are throwing things at the television set every time we have an election. Stan Freberg think election time people I was turning down cigarette campaigns before it became fashionable. I wouldn't let CBS Radio sell 'The Stan Freberg Show' to R.J. Reynolds and American Tobacco, which had sponsored Jack Benny, the man I replaced. Stan Freberg down man cigarette radio I trained my son to be a puppeteer since he was a little boy. Stan Freberg boy little he son If you don't like an ad, why should anybody else?... We're all consumers... That's why I always create commercials for myself first of all. I am the consumer I know best. If I think it's a great commercial, I figure the rest of the people might think so, too. I haven't been wrong so far. Stan Freberg i-am best myself you I had a scholarship to Stanford because I won three California Speech tournaments. Before I started Stanford, I told my mother I wanted to take a bus into Hollywood and see if I could get an agent. Stan Freberg see bus speech mother People are amazed to see that I wrote all the words and music myself to 'Stan Freberg Presents The United States Of America.' Stan Freberg words myself music people I believe all of my talents come from the Lord. All of my talents are God-given - that's how I was able to write music without any professional musical training. Stan Freberg professional training music believe