The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself. Mark Twain idiotimaginepolitics To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals. Mark Twain partypowergraduation The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried. Mark Twain succeedfailingdifferences If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Mark Twain inspiringthankfulfunny The secret of getting ahead is getting started Mark Twain motivationalinspirationallife There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars. Mark Twain skillsliarstwo Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success. Mark Twain vocationvacationsecret So avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won't do in your essays. Mark Twain sacrificetiredmen They did not know it was impossible so they did it Mark Twain law-of-attractionimpossibleattitude The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. Mark Twain teachingsweetchildren There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. Mark Twain natureinspirationallife Great things can happen when you don't care who gets the credit. Mark Twain worthwhile-thingsachievementaccomplishment Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. Mark Twain sarcasticlifefunny Sacred cows make the best hamburger. Mark Twain humorouswittyfunny We teach them to take their patriotism at second-hand; to shout with the largest crowd without examining into the right or wrong of the matter -- exactly as boys under monarchies are taught and have always been taught. We teach them to regard as traitors, and hold in aversion and contempt, such as do not shout with the crowd, and so here in our democracy we are cheering a thing which of all things is most foreign to it and out of place -- the delivery of our political conscience into somebody else's keeping. This is patriotism on the Russian plan. Mark Twain cheerboyshands The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Mark Twain inspirationallovelife Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. Mark Twain godcutefunny Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72. Mark Twain diesmen Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste. Mark Twain cuttingbrotherreligious Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Mark Twain drawingsilenceepic
