The Five A’s (attention, appreciation, acceptance, affection, allowing) are simultaneously the fulfillment of our earliest needs, the requirements of adult intimacy and of universal compassion, and the essential qualities of mindfulness practice. David Richo More Quotes by David Richo More Quotes From David Richo It is not that practice makes perfect but that practice is perfect, combining effort with an openness to grace. David Richo effort practice perfect When we notice a connection between our present fears and their origins in early life, we are finding out how much of our identity is designed by fear. Is fear the architect of me? David Richo connections identity fear The opposite of interpersonal trust is not mistrust. It is despair. This is because we have given up on believing that trustworthiness and fulfillment are possible from others. We have lost our hope in our fellow humans. David Richo despair opposites believe We can actually reconstruct our past by examining what we think, say, feel, expect, believe, and do in an intimate relationship now. David Richo believe past thinking Just as our fingerprints are one-of-a-kind, so is our identity. Each of us is a once-only articulation of what humans can be. We are rare, unmatched, mysterious. This is why the quality of openness is so crucial to our self-discovery. We cannot know ourselves by who we think we are, who others take us to be, or what our driver's license may say. We are fields of potential, some now actualized, most not yet. David Richo self discovery thinking The human heart holds much more love than it can ever disburse in one lifetime. David Richo human-heart lifetime heart In mindful grief, we become the landing strip that allows any feelings to arrive. Some crash, some land softly. Some harm us, but none harm us in a lasting way. We remain as they taxi away or as their wreckage is cleared away. We can trust that we will survive. David Richo grief land grieving Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep using defenses, we actually maintain the original force of the fear. David Richo real fear long We do not live on the Earth, we are a part of how the Earth lives. David Richo earth-life earth Synchronicity is a term used by Carl Jung to describe coincidences that are related by meaningfulness rather than by cause and effect. David Richo synchronicity causes coincidence We were born with four words engraved on our bodies and in our hearts: Love me, hold me. David Richo four body heart The challenge is to find our destiny in exactly what we are refusing to engage in. David Richo our-destiny destiny challenges The most exciting part of finding out who we are is discovering our own uniqueness, who we are outside the box, beyond the categories in a Psychology 101 textbook. In our inimitable singularity, there is an infinite range of possibility that cannot be tied to any one description of what it means to be human or healthy. David Richo psychology healthy mean The foundation of adult trust is not “You will never hurt me.” It is “I trust myself with whatever you do. David Richo foundation adults hurt Love is the possibility of possibilities. Its farthest reach is beyond us, no matter how long we love or how much. It will always remain the mute mystery to whose ecstasy and ache we can only surrender with a yes. David Richo matter love long Mindful grief means mourning and letting go of the past without expectation, fear, censure, blame, shame, control and so forth. Without such mindful grief, neither past nor person can be laid to rest. David Richo grief letting-go mean Fate often allows a future to take shape with no regard for our expectation, plan, or readiness. Fate's skillful editing of our life choices is like the careful grooming of lads on their first day of school: combed, polished, scrubbed, newly dressed, and glowing too. This is how we become ready for our life lessons. David Richo life-lesson fate school To be adult in relationship is not to be conflict-free, it's to resolve conflicts mindfully. David Richo resolve conflict adults Evoke one good memory for each bad one from now on. David Richo good-memories grieving memories We all recall the cruel stepmother in fairy tales. That archetype is often a necessary element in a fairy tale so that the heroine/hero can become a person of character and power. Stories of heroes and heroines often begin with a wound or loss or injustice and end with heroic acts of restoration. David Richo hero loss character
