The Harvard Lampoon itself, which had a pretty stellar run in the '60s. P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes From P. J. O'Rourke The poor of the world cannot be made rich by the redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty, taking their money and giving it as a reward to people who have failed to escape. P. J. O'Rourke givingpeopleworld The real alternative to power of the rich is not power of the poor. It's just plain power. P. J. O'Rourke richalternativesreal Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett. P. J. O'Rourke dozengroupslooks The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know. P. J. O'Rourke glassescoffeedrinking A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher. P. J. O'Rourke world-governmentrunningteacher Summing it Up..."Where's a good place for dinner?" I asked. "There's the Brasserie Lipp on the Avenue St. Germaine," she said, "or La Coupole in Montmartre." "Not La Coupole," I said. "I've been there before. That's the place that's crowded and noisy and smells bad and everybody's rude as hell, isn't it?" "I think you just described France," she said. P. J. O'Rourke smellfunnythinking Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation's capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers. P. J. O'Rourke politicalprocessthinking In the end we beat them with Levi's 501 jeans. Seventy-two years of communist indoctrination and propaganda was drowned out by a three-ounce Sony Walkman. A huge totalitarian system...has been brought to its knees because nobody wants to wear Bulgarian shoes. Now they're lunch, and we're number one on the planet. P. J. O'Rourke jeansshoesyears Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you've half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose and a teenage lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you're doing a hundred miles an hour in a suburban side street. P. J. O'Rourke teenagenamesfeelings The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you. P. J. O'Rourke uglymallsstupid Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to pursue our own self-interest; specialization, which he called division of labor; and freedom of trade. P. J. O'Rourke division-of-laborthreeself Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with. P. J. O'Rourke humoroustwilightfunny America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread most, a "domestic disturbance. P. J. O'Rourke middle-eastdumbamerica The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich. P. J. O'Rourke politicspoliticalpay Fretting about overpopulation, is a perfect guilt-free - indeed, sanctimonious - way for "progressives" to be racists. P. J. O'Rourke racistguiltperfect .......the poor of the world cannot be made rich by redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty, taking their money and giving it as a reward to people who have failed to escape. Economic leveling doesn't work. Whether we call it Marxism, Progressive Reform, or Clintonomics, the result is the same slide into the stygian pit. Communists worship Satan; socialists think perdition is a good system run by bad men; and liberals want us to go to hell because it's warm there in the winter. P. J. O'Rourke winterrunningmen Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. P. J. O'Rourke atheistchristianfun Then there's politics. Just imagine politics with its dumbbell element subtracted. There would be no Republican candidates. There would be no Democratic voters. The whole system would collapse. P. J. O'Rourke elementsstupiditywould-be There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. P. J. O'Rourke hilarioussinglefunny Political systems must love poverty-they produce so much of it. Poor people make easier targets for a demagogue. No Mao or even Jiang Zemin is likely to arise on the New York Stock Exchange floor. And politicians in democracies benefit from destitution, too. The US has had a broad range of poverty programs for 30 years. Those programs have failed. Millions of people are still poor. And those people vote for politicians who favor keeping the poverty programs in place. There's a conspiracy theory in there somewhere. P. J. O'Rourke new-yorkpeopleyears
