The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. Jon Stewart More Quotes by Jon Stewart More Quotes From Jon Stewart I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. Jon Stewart gay people thinking Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food? Jon Stewart explorers spices use Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica. Jon Stewart opportunity past years You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror." Jon Stewart mirrors long thinking Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it! Jon Stewart stopping gay men I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else. Jon Stewart dream feelings boys What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I? Jon Stewart Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much. Jon Stewart black night america Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented. Jon Stewart devious Nobody says, hey men should not drink. It's all about women must dress differently, women must walk differently, women must drink differently. Why are we not able to hold men to account for this behavior? Jon Stewart hey dresses men Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight. Jon Stewart dream home heart Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted 'Bingo!' counted as a yea or a nay. Jon Stewart finals missing years I'm a bit down. Liza Minelli and David Gest, I don't know how it didn't work out. How can a man who likes other men and a woman who drinks not get along? The interesting thing is this - there is no conceivable amount of money worth telling the world that you were beaten up by Liza Minelli. Jon Stewart work-out men interesting I can't believe I'm comforting a billionaire. Jon Stewart billionaire comforting believe This show is our own personal beliefs. Jon Stewart personal-beliefs belief shows I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the world and the President that I experience. And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see. Jon Stewart president littles world My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower. Jon Stewart rocks two hands [Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move. Jon Stewart audience animated moving If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while? Jon Stewart legs crutches break Oh my god... Kerry is boring even when Bush is reading him. Jon Stewart boring reading