The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet. H. L. Mencken More Quotes by H. L. Mencken More Quotes From H. L. Mencken On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. H. L. Mencken landheartfunny The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. H. L. Mencken democracies-havefreedomgovernment The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. H. L. Mencken doctrinecynicalmen The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth. H. L. Mencken truthliarssuccess Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right. H. L. Mencken atheismmotivationalreligion The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their principal device to that end is to search out groups who pant and pine for something they can't get and to promise to give it to them. Nine times out of ten that promise is worth nothing. The tenth time is made good by looting A to satisfy B. In other words, government is a broker in pillage, and every election is sort of an advance auction sale of stolen goods. H. L. Mencken officemenlying People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist? H. L. Mencken honestylyingcheating The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable. H. L. Mencken social-taboosmenthinking Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. H. L. Mencken badassangerfunny When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental - men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre. H. L. Mencken menideasthinking It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. H. L. Mencken honestyfreedomhate It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron. H. L. Mencken moronclassicrunning Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. H. L. Mencken libertypoliticsauctions Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right. H. L. Mencken freedompartywar It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause. H. L. Mencken uprisingcausesleader Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true. H. L. Mencken sufferingmenbelieve There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. H. L. Mencken funny-inspirationalfreedombusiness The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. H. L. Mencken learninglibertyeducation The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. H. L. Mencken freedomwarpeace Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. H. L. Mencken cynicalgodbeing-happy
