The Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, the Pentagon also banned any alternative form of checkers. Jimmy Fallon More Quotes by Jimmy Fallon More Quotes From Jimmy Fallon It would've been amazing [to work as programmer]. You're good at numbers, you're good with people, you like to wear shorts in the summertime. Jimmy Fallon summertimenumberspeople Thinking about all that - what it means to be happy - I think it overloaded your brain. Jimmy Fallon brainmeanthinking Wearing shorts is a huge perk. I think it's probably one of the reasons people become mailmen. You also get to drive in that vehicle that should be illegal in the United States, where the steering wheel is on the other side. They have no rules! They are the punk rock of government jobs. Jimmy Fallon rocksjobsthinking You've never had a job that you thought was secure. You don't think the Tonight Show is risk free. Especially when you saw what happened with your buddy Conan O'Brien. There is always a Plan B.I am ready to apply to the post office. Jimmy Fallon officejobsthinking When you were a kid, it [work in IBM] seemed like an awesome job. I'd get to go to work and have a briefcase. I loved how Dad wore a tie and got a car. I didn't know if all those things came together. I'd see my dad go off to work and we'd wait for him to come home, and we'd all be excited to see him. Jimmy Fallon dadhomejobs We have a really, really great dog. It doesn't bark. My dog almost smiles, which is weird. He's just a very happy dog. Jimmy Fallon barkvery-happydog I haven't been on a date in awhile. I went on maybe two dates in my whole life. Jimmy Fallon whole-lifewholetwo My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream. Jimmy Fallon daddreamjobs Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with. Jimmy Fallon bedgivingpeople You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself. Jimmy Fallon torturerunningneeds [Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror. Jimmy Fallon teammirrorswriting I think you just look for the person you have the most fun with. And that's enough. You realize, "Wait, I can just keep having fun with her forever?" Yes, you can do that. That is the key. Jimmy Fallon keysfunthinking It's something I worry about when I'm working out. I don't want to get too fit. Because I don't want the new DaVinci of this Millennium to say, "You. I have found my muse. I have to sculpt you." Jimmy Fallon work-outwantworry I remember people saying to us, "You're too nice. Hollywood is going to eat you up and spit you out." I never listened to them. Jimmy Fallon hollywoodnicepeople I remember watching Soulja Boy on YouTube over and over again to prepare for it. For the first one, I was up all night in my kitchen, practicing the dance, because I knew I had to dance with Timberlake and that guy can dance. Jimmy Fallon guynightboys We're into tech stuff, gadgets, phones, video games. We'll treat a video game premiere like a movie premiere. I'm just going to be honest with what I like and what I do. What I enjoy. We're not going to hide the fact that people are on the Internet all day. I think a lot of shows don't really mention that. Jimmy Fallon phonesgamesthinking Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it. Jimmy Fallon Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves. Jimmy Fallon Today you're graduating from high school. Jimmy Fallon top-news It’s just not what I do. I think it would be weird for me to start doing it now, i don’t really even care that much about politics — I gotta be honest. I love pop culture more than I love politics. I’m just not that brain. Jimmy Fallon entertainment
