The reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don't have a state tax there, and that's why Texas is big growth because you don't tax people to death. Kinky Friedman More Quotes by Kinky Friedman More Quotes From Kinky Friedman You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you. Kinky Friedman smokingwantworld Sleep came slower than a frigid woman. Kinky Friedman frigidsleep I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass. Kinky Friedman assscratchesneeded What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery. Kinky Friedman ballssixtexas The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back. Kinky Friedman takenwantschool I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed. Kinky Friedman wrong-guydeath-penaltyguy Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot. Kinky Friedman rejectedhotwriting The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty. Kinky Friedman death-penaltypenaltiesperfect If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. Kinky Friedman cockyhumbleinspirational Sometimes performing someone else's song is more difficult than writing your own. Kinky Friedman writingsongsometimes Happiness is a moving target. Kinky Friedman targetmoving I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of nowhere. Kinky Friedman happenedwellsworld Finding a cat--or having a cat find you--can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more. Kinky Friedman divorcecatwinning Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so much time finding themselves that they lose their taxicabs. They don't see that what kind of napkin you get at a delicatessen is a matter of much significance in the world today. That's why they don't get linen. Kinky Friedman caringworrylife Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy who's running the Ferris wheel. It's not the best seat in the house, but you see enough lights, action, people, and confusion to make you wonder if anybody knows what the hell's going on. If you're sitting out front, of course, it all rolls along as smoothly as a German train schedule, but as Willie, like any great magician, would be the first to point out, the real show is never in the center ring. As Willie always says, Fortunately, we're not in control. Kinky Friedman lightrealrunning Always respect your superiors, if you have any. Kinky Friedman superiorsifs My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border. Kinky Friedman governmentmeanyears The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life. Kinky Friedman kinkyflipping-a-coinimportant All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am. Kinky Friedman practicegivingpeople We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters. Kinky Friedman baitwaitinglife
