The Smurf village was destroyed weeks ago and Bush has still not made an appearance. George Bush doesn't care about tiny blue people. Christian Finnegan More Quotes by Christian Finnegan More Quotes From Christian Finnegan People might say, What's so great about the Arctic Monkeys? I've never even seen them. Well, you've never seen God either. You're gonna tell me he's not awesome? Christian Finnegan monkeys might people I hope that if I ever disappear, people don't look for me based on the last websites I visited. Kind of an awkward press conference for my parents. Officer, do you have any leads? Well, based on Mr. Finnegan's computer entries, we think he was abducted by Sorority Sluts. Christian Finnegan parent people thinking Some of you guys must have real jobs - office jobs. Anybody? By a show of broken spirits. Christian Finnegan broken-spirit real jobs Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need. Christian Finnegan couple feet fun There comes a point where the disappointments in your life accrue faster than you can find external forces to blame them on. Christian Finnegan external-forces blame disappointment There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the lead singer of Kajagoogoo is, I'm your guy. His name is Limahl, by the way. Christian Finnegan smart names two The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it. Christian Finnegan politics political hate I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way. Christian Finnegan alcoholics drink way Growing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I always wanted that hour special on cable. Christian Finnegan comedian growing-up dream Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer. Christian Finnegan egocentric actors enough You know what I'm great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word 'trivial' in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial - as in not important. Trivial - as in maybe you should've gone to grad school. Christian Finnegan names games school Canada, or as i call them, America Light. Christian Finnegan canada light america Of course, the world is different now. There's a glut of comedians with specials, so it's just not possible to make an impact the way Bill Cosby: Himself did. It's like, The Beatles were amazing, but it also helped that not many bands were putting out albums then. Christian Finnegan comedian different world I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax. Christian Finnegan different two history If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That's a mistake a lot of people make - they think a year is a long time and it's really not. Christian Finnegan mistake years thinking I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band. Christian Finnegan bass band play I'd like to think I'm a little more memorable or specific now. People laugh at me in a way they wouldn't laugh at another comedian, rather than being like, "Okay, who's the next joke-slinger? Give me some jokes so I may laugh and go about my day!" Christian Finnegan memorable people thinking You rarely hear anyone use the word pancreas in a not-horrible context. Christian Finnegan horrible pancreas use I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to do the best you can while remaining who you are. Christian Finnegan respect trying people I've always prided myself on being able to perform in the "alt-comedy" zone, but also being able to do comedy for people who aren't media-saturated, and maybe don't have the latest Dan Deacon album. I probably won't be the most popular guy at Zanies in Nashville, and I'll never be the coolest dude at Largo, but I like that I can swim in both those waters. Christian Finnegan guy water people
