There is no rule in the pink-triangle guide to coming out that you must wear a rainbow flag cap and organise a full band parade.

Beth Ditto

Categorized in : Band Flags Rainbow

I have no control over what people think of me but I have 100% control of what I think of myself, and that is so important. And not just about your body, but so many ways of confidence. You're constantly learning how to be confident, aren't you?

important people thinking

Reclaiming the word fat was the most empowering step in my progress. I stopped using it for insult or degradation and instead replaced it with truth, because the truth is that I am fat, and that's ok. So now when someone calls me fat, I agree, whereas before I would get embarrassed and emotional.

empowering progress emotional

It's funny how something so normal and mundane that you see every day-your body-can be controversial. The shock value is intense. It's like carrying an art piece around with you all the time.

normal pieces art

I have a very good relationship with myself. My favourite quote is, "What you think about me is none of my business."

good-relationship favourite thinking

I'm a great believer in karma and the vengeance that it serves up to those who are deliberately mean is generally enough for me.

vengeance karma mean

I'm passionate about color. My best friend and I sit and look at... by Beth Ditto

I'm passionate about color. My best friend and I sit and look at Pantone books for fun.

fun friendship book

I love Adele so much and it's honestly not because we're both big... by Beth Ditto

I love Adele so much and it's honestly not because we're both big.

I don't get mad with people, like, 'Oh, but that's not what the song was about...' It's also nice to know that people are mindlessly dancing to a song about the US Government's stance on same-sex marriages... especially straight jocks. I love that idea. I think that's the beauty of music - it's different for everybody.

nice song thinking

Because I didn't have any queer, lesbian, female role models I hated my own femininity and had to look deep within myself to create an identity that worked for me. Pop culture just doesn't hand us enough variety to choose from.

female-role-models identity hands

For years now I have run a kitchen-sink punk salon in my house, called Salon du Gay. In the early days, people would pay for a riot grrrl bob or a passable bleach job with a mixtape, $3 or a selection of baked goods - whichever they could afford. More recently though, with Gossip doing well, I've performed these punk hair transformations for free.

gay running jobs

We all seek approval, and our mother's seal is usually the most important. The nitty gritty is that we have to accept ourselves, even if it is just to be ready for the next cut-down. Mom's blessing or not.

cutting mom mother

We were a small group of weirdos and baby punks and gays and free spirits who had to use our imaginations a lot. We only saw pictures and read zines, so we could only interpret the aesthetic and message of punk scenes around the world. We were basically the duck-billed platypuses of punk.

gay imagination baby

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film Funny Girl at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

funny-motivational girl believe

I said to my teacher, 'I can't be a singer because I'm not pretty enough, and I'm fat.' And she looked at me and said, 'Tell that to Nell Carter, babe.' That changed my life forever!

singers forever teacher

I have been 130 lbs. as well as 215 lbs. I have had blond, strawberry blond, green, pink and purple hair, and none of that has ever exempted me from having lewd comments flung at me in the street.

purple green hair

I always think that people think that women in music are always angry. I'm not angry. Rock 'n' roll music made by men is so much more over-the-top aggressive than when a women says "you" and they're screaming it, it's like, 'Oh my God!' I'm like, 'Have you heard rock music made by men?'

men people thinking

I was born to be married. I just feel comfortable there. I love the idea of being partnered for ever. I love my girlfriend, we've been best friends since I was 18. There's not a thing we haven't been through except for marriage... We've had talks about what we would name our kids since we were in our 20s.

girlfriend names kids

Aretha Franklin was a teenage mom, a musician who came from an incredible Christian background, and where there was a lot of love, which is really inspiring in a feminist way.

teenage mom christian

A few years back, when my style was "punk grandma", I picked up an amazing pair of sandals - orthopaedic ones, with really thick soles. I've given them away to a friend now, because these days my look is more "1980s substitute teacher gone wild."

grandma teacher years

This is how I feel about everything that's out of your control: once you make a record, it's not yours anymore. There's nothing you can do. It's the way I feel about political movements - both of those things grow on their own.

you-can-do-it political