Quotes by Funny Motivational Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Benjamin Franklin funny-motivational procrastination inspirational Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film Funny Girl at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace. Beth Ditto funny-motivational girl believe Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous. Chelsea Handler funny-motivational wonder sometimes Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing. Chuck Noll funny-motivational funny-inspirational basketball Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost. Ellen DeGeneres funny-motivational funny-inspirational graduation When you don't know what you're doing, fake it. Jill Shalvis funny-motivational top-management funny-inspirational Just because I rock doesn't mean I am made of stone. Jim Carrey funny-motivational rocks mean It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going. Jim Jarmusch funny-motivational goals-dreams baseball Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything. Karen Marie Moning wonderful-life funny-motivational funny-inspirational Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach funny-motivational clock morning I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies. Mindy Kaling funny-motivational age love Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off forever. P. J. Plauger funny-motivational procrastination inspirational You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing. Paul Stanley funny-motivational top-management funny-inspirational Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. Steven Wright funny-motivational teaching math So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you. Tina Fey funny-motivational witty inspirational It's a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it...You have to let people see what you wrote. Tina Fey funny-motivational writing kids The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open. Zig Ziglar funny-motivational funny-work inspirational I don't know why femininity should be associated with weakness. Women should be free to express who they are without thinking, 'I need to act like a man, or I need to tone it down to be successful.' That's a very good way to keep women down. Zooey Deschanel funny-motivational badass women I'm a person who gets better with practice. Getting older is awesome - because you get more practice. Zooey Deschanel funny-motivational get-better practice My nursery school did a production of 'The Three Little Pigs.' I played the third pig. When the wolf knocked on my door, I refused to get up and answer it because, to me, he was knocking the wrong way. I just lay there, snoring away on stage, fully immersed in my character. My dad turned to my mom and said: 'Dustin Hoffman.' Zooey Deschanel funny-motivational dad mom
