There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone. Will Rogers More Quotes by Will Rogers More Quotes From Will Rogers When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like." I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it. Will Rogers readingwaitingmen Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. Will Rogers smilemoneyfunny If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world. Will Rogers fishingwould-beworld We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs. Will Rogers winningrunningmen If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? Will Rogers humorouswittyfunny Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago. Will Rogers governmentmoneyyears If a bank fails in China, they behead the men at the top of it that was responsible... If we beheaded all of ours that were responsible for bank failures, we wouldn't have enough people left to bury the heads. Will Rogers businessmenpeople I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. Will Rogers girlinspirationalfunny The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. Will Rogers minutesinspirationlaw There is not a better day in the world to be spent than with a lot of wise old cowmen around barbecued beef, black coffee and good "free holy" beans. Will Rogers agriculturecoffeewise If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. Will Rogers cheapercoursesmass Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. Will Rogers racecollegeyears Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn't, too. Will Rogers flowermenwar If a thousand shares of stocks or bonds make nothing, you pay nothing. But on a thousand acres of land you pay enough to support half the community who own no land and pay no taxes. Will Rogers supportcommunityland I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us, for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart Will Rogers crazyinspirationheart People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. Will Rogers humorousletting-gofunny The US is safest when Congress is in recess. Will Rogers recesscongress A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief. Will Rogers horsegovernmentreading It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. Will Rogers good-thingsgovernmentpay See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails Will Rogers fingernailsbitinginspiration
