There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin More Quotes by George Carlin More Quotes From George Carlin If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans. George Carlin motivation christian people People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. George Carlin bullying philosophy thinking In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around. George Carlin humorous today funny I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate. George Carlin sarcastic witty funny I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights. George Carlin humorous stupid fall The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live. George Carlin fine planets people A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining. George Carlin entertaining crazy mind Valentine's Day is devoted to love. Why don't we have a day devoted to hatred? The raw, visceral hatred that is felt every hour of the day by ordinary people, but is repressed for reasons of social order. I think it would be very cathartic, and it would certainly make for an exciting six o'clock news. George Carlin valentine order thinking In Hawaii they say, "aloha." That's a nice one, It means both "hello" and "good-bye" Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going. George Carlin nice humorous mean This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen. George Carlin prayer father art They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street. George Carlin criminals wall jail When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse. George Carlin horse movie kids Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are. George Carlin spirituality lasts way What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job! George Carlin dog jobs lying I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin guy atheist two If you want to get rid of counterfeit money, put it in the collection plate at church. George Carlin money church want If God created everything, he's got a serious quality control problem. George Carlin quality serious problem The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is. George Carlin euphemism divorced reality I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free. George Carlin hobbies cost interest Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you. George Carlin inspirational life funny
