There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy. Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes From Jeff Foxworthy You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat. Jeff Foxworthy redneck ostriches cowboy You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. Jeff Foxworthy redneck rope might You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. Jeff Foxworthy redneck class school You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck tanks office If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck car feet You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold. Jeff Foxworthy bingo redneck grandmother You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school. Jeff Foxworthy redneck daddy school You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You. Jeff Foxworthy redneck singing love-you You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item. Jeff Foxworthy gourmet redneck onions You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center. Jeff Foxworthy redneck your-mom might You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub. Jeff Foxworthy redneck age numbers You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events. Jeff Foxworthy redneck events giving I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right. Jeff Foxworthy decision grace two You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. Jeff Foxworthy redneck house watches You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road. Jeff Foxworthy redneck house might You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. Jeff Foxworthy redneck trials thinking You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool. Jeff Foxworthy redneck telephones coffee You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. Jeff Foxworthy redneck shopping home You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Jeff Foxworthy redneck dog house In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car. Jeff Foxworthy desperate driven car