There's always something that's going to kill us all. A few years ago, tomatoes were going to kill us and a few years before that it was spinach. The FDA is run by a 7-year-old kid that hates vegetables! Alonzo Bodden More Quotes by Alonzo Bodden More Quotes From Alonzo Bodden I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work. Alonzo Bodden comic honest used I grew up in the suburbs. I'm an angry suburban nergo. I'm bad in, like, Starbucks. I'll hurt you over a frappuccino. Alonzo Bodden starbucks grew-up hurt They sold me a duvet cover, and I don't have a duvet, I don't think. Then, they started treating me like I'm the idiot. They're like, 'Do you have a comforter?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, you have to protect it!' I had no idea it was under attack. Alonzo Bodden duvets ideas thinking Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash. Alonzo Bodden women trying years There are three goals for any comedian: to make a living as a comedian; I've been fortunate to do that. To make a name for yourself and to be famous would be great - because it would give me that freedom. Alonzo Bodden goal names giving Comedy is the drug, when they laugh it's like I'm a jazz musician and they hear it, and they get it. It's power to take the crowd wherever I want them to go. I love it when they laugh, especially when they relate through laughter. It's a beautiful thing. It also means I'm going to get paid, which is nice. Alonzo Bodden laughter nice beautiful Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat. Alonzo Bodden boat sides I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up. Alonzo Bodden airplane wish school