Time affords us the ability to blame past errors on others while whole heartedly pronouncing our futures successes. Douglas Adams More Quotes by Douglas Adams More Quotes From Douglas Adams The idea was fantastically, wildly improbable. But like most fantastically, wildly improbable ideas it was at least as worthy of consideration as a more mundane one to which the facts had been strenuously bent to fit. Douglas Adams fit facts ideas The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. Douglas Adams legs balls running Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be. Douglas Adams work-out wish people The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying 'And another thing...' twenty minutes after admitting he'd lost the argument. Douglas Adams storm twenties men One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed. Douglas Adams body inspiration thinking I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? Douglas Adams nice rain food We are now cruising at a level of two to the power of twenty-five thousand to one against and falling, and we will be restoring normality just as soon as we are sure what is normal anyway. Douglas Adams levels two fall But the reason I call myself by my childhood name is to remind myself that a scientist must also be absolutely like a child. If he sees a thing, he must say that he sees it, whether it was what he thought he was going to see or not. See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Douglas Adams names children thinking Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around. Douglas Adams first-time said firsts How can I tell," said the man, "that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind? Douglas Adams time men past What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer. Douglas Adams finding-yourself challenges moving SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom. Douglas Adams uncomfortable-feeling sitting feelings All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place. Douglas Adams positive needs thinking Reality is hopelessly inaccurate. Douglas Adams reality Siamese Cats have a way of staring at you. Those who have walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will know the expression. Douglas Adams cat queens expression The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood. Douglas Adams raindrops responsible flood Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off. Douglas Adams hitchhiking guy fall Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet. Douglas Adams technology He spent a lot of time flying. He learnt to communicate with birds and discovered that their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with wind speed, wing spans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Unfortunately, he discovered, once you have learnt birdspeak you quickly come to realize that the air is full of it the whole time, just inane bird chatter. There is no getting away from it. Douglas Adams air wings wind Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Douglas Adams humorous time philosophy