UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it. Ambrose Bierce failuresuccessinspiring ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. Ambrose Bierce tailorskindnessmen PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics. Ambrose Bierce politicsgamespigs Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen. Ambrose Bierce listening-to-otherseffective-listeningbores-you An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time. Ambrose Bierce truthtimephilosophy URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others. Ambrose Bierce expressionnew-yorkrights They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. Ambrose Bierce hensvanityeggs Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible. Ambrose Bierce christiandoorsworld Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. Ambrose Bierce sarcasticcouragepeace Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises. Ambrose Bierce dyingreligiousdeath Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization. Ambrose Bierce springsciencebelieve Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Ambrose Bierce weddingmarriagehappiness If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it. Ambrose Bierce perfectwritingbook POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. Ambrose Bierce agitationeelsmistake Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers. Ambrose Bierce madnesscookingfood To the eye of failure success is an accident. Ambrose Bierce success-failureaccidentseye To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. Ambrose Bierce planningresultsscience Doubt is the father of invention. Ambrose Bierce stupiditydoubtfather NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it. Ambrose Bierce buddhistwisereligion Pantheism, n. Ambrose Bierce pantheismdoctrine
