Until you get left for Mr. Bean, you don't realise how frequently he pops up. There's a shop two streets from my house that sells masks of his face. There's nowhere where I'm going to go that he's not there.

James Acaster

Categorized in : You Go Face House

If you just focus on getting better, and not being the best, you have such a good time.

best good you time

What if every relationship you've ever been in, is someone slowly figuring out they didn't like you as much as they hoped they would?

someone like you relationship

Every year in Edinburgh, I end up waiting behind the curtain about to go on stage, and I have a moment of thinking, 'No one's told me what to do with this show. I've done exactly what I wanted. This is the biggest arts festival in the world, and all these people have shown up. Aren't I lucky?' It really is amazing.

me moment waiting people

Everyone was wearing jeans, so I started wearing slacks. I'd walk on, and people would laugh before I got to the mic because I looked stupid.

laugh walk stupid people

I used to work with autistic children, and they said a lot of funny things to me.

me work funny children

I absolutely loathe sleeping in a tent, regardless of the weather.

tent regardless sleeping weather

People like abstract art because it makes them feel clever.

feel like people art

If a comic laughs at their own jokes, I don't like it. They shouldn't find it funny; they should seriously believe in this stupid thing they're saying.

saying stupid funny believe

Certain celebs manage to worm their way out of the spotlight, and I won't stand for that.

stand out spotlight way

My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness.

parents big good forgiveness

I'm not a big depressive, but I have my moments.

big depressive moments

There were plenty of times before I did stand-up where I needed counselling, but I didn't go because it would have meant I was officially ill.

before because where go

I thought, 'Anyone can make up a lie, but making the truth funny is really hard.' But I actually had more problems with people believing me when I told the truth on stage.

me truth funny people

When you're talking about a really horrible personal thing that happened to you... and it doesn't get laughs... I feel really exposed and like I've overshared with some strangers.

strangers feel you talking

I'm great under pressure.

great pressure

Because such a massive part of stand-up is trying and failing first, I'm not putting as much pressure on. Just going out and doing it is enough.

doing enough pressure trying

If people leave the house wanting to see a comedian, they want to see someone speak out for themselves and share true stories from their life.

someone speak life people

If people are coming to see me because they like what I do on 'Mock the Week,' that's great because they are coming to see me being me.

great see me people

Corduroy hits the sweet spot between jeans and slacks. They're a trouser middleman.

spot between jeans sweet

There's no excuse for panel games, other TV comedy shows, or even live bills to be made up mainly of men.

live comedy games men