We could do that standing on our ear, we’re going to keep doing this show forever. If we get the right longevity doctor, we’ll see. We’ll keep doing this show as long as FX [Networks] lets us, and as long as we don’t start fighting with each other and hating each other.

Danny DeVito

Categorized in : Entertainment

We don't even know if we're in this room. We could be in a turtle... by Danny DeVito

We don't even know if we're in this room. We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

turtles space dream

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

towers sight funny

When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.

pissed-off fists way

The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your... by Danny DeVito

The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your own.

whole love-is needs

A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean. by Danny DeVito

A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.

tree way fall

It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.

three-things acceptance dog

The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead. by Danny DeVito

The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead.

choices

Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything. by Danny DeVito

Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.

excuse

I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world. by Danny DeVito

I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.

cruel-world one-thing world

It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.

safe fun thinking

I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to b... by Danny DeVito

I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to be.

good-way looks way

A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen ma... by Danny DeVito

A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.

salesman sick money

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money. by Danny DeVito

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

heist need-money needs

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

dilemma skulls two

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

nuclear ems use

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what?... by Danny DeVito

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

absurd knows thinking

America's racist, so what do you expect. by Danny DeVito

America's racist, so what do you expect.

racist america

In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.

gratitude light order

I climbed like a billion stairs... its not like I can take them t... by Danny DeVito

I climbed like a billion stairs... its not like I can take them two at a time.

stairs billions two

I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

funny believe thinking