We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. Lily Tomlin More Quotes by Lily Tomlin More Quotes From Lily Tomlin The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin meaningful inspirational funny I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. Lily Tomlin i-realized inspiring Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself. Lily Tomlin ifs history people Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket - Lily Tomlin ladders pockets hands I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin inspirational life funny Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? Lily Tomlin inspirational life funny Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. Lily Tomlin honesty work country There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. Lily Tomlin skins humorous fun If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? Lily Tomlin beauty inspirational funny Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. Lily Tomlin failure inspiring fall Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin humorous funny book The best mind-altering drug is the truth. Lily Tomlin drug truth mind Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas. Lily Tomlin would-be nurse world You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening. Lily Tomlin frightening thinking We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles. Lily Tomlin consumers lifestyle people What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it. Lily Tomlin golf I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. Lily Tomlin education appreciation teacher For fast-acting relief try slowing down. Lily Tomlin stress breakup inspirational My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them. Lily Tomlin different kind people No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. Lily Tomlin cynical enough matter
