We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out. Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes From Marshall B. Rosenberg Always hear the 'Yes' in the 'No'. Marshall B. Rosenberg nonviolent-communication communication When we are angry, killing people is too superficial. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication killing people What bores the listener bores the speaker too. Marshall B. Rosenberg speakers bores listeners People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication pain believe I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain. Marshall B. Rosenberg empathy pain listening You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication needs thinking We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication winning needs When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy. Marshall B. Rosenberg empathy communication giving Unless we as social change agents come from a certain spirituality, we're likely to create more harm than good. Marshall B. Rosenberg agents spirituality communication Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication keys organization Be very slow to go into looking for solutions. Marshall B. Rosenberg nonviolent-communication solutions communication What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication feelings may Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any put-downs, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication criticism intellectual In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication teacher jobs Ask before offering advice or reassurance. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication offering advice Depression is the reward we get for being 'good'. Marshall B. Rosenberg nonviolent-communication rewards communication You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication kids children Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger. Marshall B. Rosenberg blame communication expression Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process. Marshall B. Rosenberg communication important healing It's really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life. Marshall B. Rosenberg practice spiritual trying