We've known about the transcendent power of solitude for centuries; it's only recently that we've forgotten it. Susan Cain More Quotes by Susan Cain More Quotes From Susan Cain Women were also urged to work on a mysterious quality called 'fascination.' Coming of age in the 1920's was a competitive business. Susan Cain fascination quality age Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama. So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet. Susan Cain self drama reality Though shyness per se was unacceptable, reserve was a mark of good breeding. Susan Cain breeding shyness mark Should we become so proficient at self-presentation that we can dissemble without anyone suspecting? Susan Cain presentation should self Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Susan Cain introvert acquaintance crosses The purpose of school should be to prepare kids for the rest of their lives, but too often what kids need to be prepared for is surviving the school day itself. Susan Cain kids school needs When you go to a football game and someone offers you a beer [...], they're really saying hi, have a glass of extroversion. Susan Cain glasses beer football Ask your child for information in a gentle, nonjudgmental way, with specific, clear questions. Instead of “How was your day?” try “What did you do in math class today?” Instead of “Do you like your teacher?” ask “What do you like about your teacher?” Or “What do you not like so much?” Let her take her time to answer. Try to avoid asking, in the overly bright voice of parents everywhere, “Did you have fun in school today?!” She’ll sense how important it is that the answer be yes. Susan Cain fun teacher children Psychologists usually offer three explanations for the failure of group brainstorming. The first is social loafing: in a group, some individuals tend to sit back and let others do the work. The second is production blocking: only one person can talk or produce an idea at once, while the other group members are forced to sit passively. And the third is evaluation apprehension, meaning the fear of looking stupid in front of one's peers. Susan Cain block stupid ideas I've never given a speech without being terrified first. Susan Cain given speech firsts I'm insatiably curious about human nature. I feel very lucky that as a writer I get to learn so much about it just to do my job right. Susan Cain lucky writing jobs I use a lot of old-fashioned expressions. Susan Cain old-fashioned expression use I actually find extroversion to be a really appealing personality style. Susan Cain style personality As a parent, if give yourself what you need, your children will watch you doing that and will give themselves what they need. Susan Cain parent giving children Any time people come together in a meeting, we're not necessarily getting the best ideas; we're just getting the ideas of the best talkers. Susan Cain together people ideas The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness. Susan Cain waste talent energy Remember that introverts react not only to new people, but also to new places and events. So don’t mistake a child’s caution in new situations for an inability to relate to others. He’s recoiling from novelty or overstimulation, not from human contact. Introverts are just as likely as the next kid to seek others’ company, though often in smaller doses Susan Cain mistake kids children The other thing Aron found about sensitive people is that sometimes they're highly empathic. It's as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people's emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. They tend to have unusually strong consciences. ... they're acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior. Susan Cain strong tragedy people We often marvel at how introverted, geeky, kid 'blossom' into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it's not the children who change but their environments. As adults they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don't have to live in whatever culture they'er plunked into. Susan Cain circles kids children ...true self-esteem comes from competence, not the other way around. Susan Cain true-self self-esteem way
