We want to believe that we're invulnerable, and that people who get tricked deserve it. Well, they don't. And someday the arrogant types who mock the gullible are likely to get their turn to wear the dunce cap. Walter Kirn More Quotes by Walter Kirn More Quotes From Walter Kirn The lines we draw that make us who we are are potent by virtue of being non-negotiable, and even, at some level, indefensible. Walter Kirn who-we-arelineslevels Memo to extreme partisans: If you can't bring yourselves to love your enemies, can you at least learn to hate your friends? Walter Kirn hatelove-youenemy A writer turns his life into material, and if you’re in his life, he uses yours, too. Walter Kirn turnsmaterialsuse The best anti-depressant pill for me would be one the size of a house so you could drop it on me and put me out of my misery. Walter Kirn pillswould-behouse The reason con artists get away with what they get away with is, their victims are ashamed of their own blindness and their own gullibility, and they tend to just quietly go away. Walter Kirn owngoashamedreason Cross the wrong state border with your gun, or wake up one morning to new legislation or a new presidential executive order, and suddenly you're the bad guy, not the good guy. No wonder some gun owners seem so touchy; they feel, at some level, like criminals in waiting. Walter Kirn goodyouwaitingmorning Novelists who pretend to understand what keeps them scribbling are really just guessing. A profound, unmet childish need to be acknowledged? Maybe. It hardly matters, though. The termite that asks itself why it keeps chewing risks becoming sluggish and inefficient, as does the writer who grows self-conscious in the middle of chapter five. Walter Kirn childishpretendrisksunderstand On the Web, we can be whoever we wish to be, editing the face we show to others in ways that aren't possible in physical space. We can also fine-tune the complexity and depth of our interactions and relationships. Walter Kirn facespaceeditingwish People can be so neglectful of each other and of their own heritage - then death intrudes. Conversations we wish that we'd had earlier are had too late. Walter Kirn heritagewishdeathpeople A true nature is a gloomy monolith, sort of like that old black rotary phone that I had to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Grandpa on. But novelists, damn us, still need true natures - so we can give them to our protagonists. And so readers can vaguely predict how they'll behave when we trap them in 'situations' that they can't IM their way out of. Walter Kirn blacknaturehappybirthday I love reference books, especially collections of memorable quotations, world almanacs, and atlases. Facts to me are like candy or popcorn, small, tasty delights, and I like to gorge on them now and then. Walter Kirn melovefactsworld I'm a magpie in my fiction, taking whatever looks shiny and curious to line the nest of my story. Walter Kirn whateverstorycuriouslooks Everyone his own cinematographer. His own stream-of-consciousness e-mail poet. His own nightclub DJ. His own political columnist. His own biographer of his top-10 friends! Walter Kirn djownfriendspolitical The room-service Caesar salads with soggy croutons, the distant relatives who show up at readings pitching weird, far-fetched investment schemes, the fans who have you sign a book to 'Cathy' and then tell you, 'No, it's Kathy with a K' - it gets challenging after a while. It tests your stamina. Walter Kirn relativesweirdyoubook My mother used to push 'Wuthering Heights' on me as a boy, and I sensed from her breathy description of the story that it would make me laugh. I have no plans to find out if this is true. Walter Kirn laughboymemother What is it in people, or just in people like me, that would rather let a lie go by, would rather wish it away or minimize it, than point it out and cause the liar embarrassment? Walter Kirn liarliemepeople I remember the first time I went to Italy when I was eighteen, I was in Florence and there were all these eighteen, nineteen, twenty-year-olds gliding past on Vespas with crinkly, long, hair, and I thought I was on the set of a movie. I couldn't believe that this was going on and I hadn't known about it before. I was flabbergasted. Walter Kirn hairtimelongpast In fourth grade, I learned that reading was serious business, not just a pleasant way to pass the time, and that like medicine or engineering, it had a definite, valuable purpose: to foster 'comprehension.' Walter Kirn seriousbusinessreadingtime I review books as a day job, and through the years I've come to view the contemporary memoir as, almost always, a saga of victimization, sometimes by others, sometimes by the self, and sometimes by illness or misfortune, leading, like clockwork, to healing and redemption. Walter Kirn jobdayselfsometimes Literary dementia seems dated now, but there was a time when a month in the funny farm was as de rigueur for budding writers as an M.F.A. is now. To be sent away was a badge of honor; to undergo electroshock, a glorious martyrdom. Walter Kirn farmhonortimefunny
