What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. Mark Twain tirededucationalgod Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider. Mark Twain commonaveragemen The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. Mark Twain agingageremember The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. Mark Twain humorinspirationbusiness There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule. Mark Twain muleskicks Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. Mark Twain inspirationallifetravel You can go to heaven if you want. I'd rather stay in Bermuda. Mark Twain bermudawantheaven It is noble to teach oneself; it is still nobler to teach others. Mark Twain noblestillsteaching Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions. Mark Twain offspringpoorproblem If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. Mark Twain learningnatureinspiration Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. Mark Twain positivitytodaylife We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain. Mark Twain trainingassociationstruggle To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. Mark Twain successinspirationallife There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. Mark Twain forbidden-lovetemptationmotivational Enthusiasm is caught, not taught. Mark Twain taughtleadershipenthusiasm Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling. Mark Twain schoolingacquireeducation Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. Mark Twain funadventuretravel Comparison is the death of joy. Mark Twain comparisonfitness-motivationaljoy People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made. Mark Twain lawwatchespeople When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends. Mark Twain telling-the-truthdoubtenemy