What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!

Jay Mohr

Categorized in : Years Stories Party

What's great about stand-up unlike athletes and other things when... by Jay Mohr

What's great about stand-up unlike athletes and other things when you get old you get old and rusty.

old-you athlete

I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.

turns dvds special

As far as in my career, I don't know what other form there is. I... by Jay Mohr

As far as in my career, I don't know what other form there is. I would love to do a talk show.

form careers shows

I created a human being from paper and I put it on the screen, a unique individual. I wish every performance, every IMDB credit, I would do it over, because I would do it better, because I would do it less. If that makes any sense.

credit unique wish

There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the ones that really nobody saw. The Groomsmen, Playing By Heart and Seeing Other People are by far the work I'm the most proud of.

acting heart people

We all shared this experience. We all had one brain, we were one giant organism working and having joy. "What about Walken?" Sorry, bro...Maybe I should've done an hour and 34 minutes.

sorry brain joy

When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, "Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken." It is a bit of a moral victory.

victory tonight half

If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.

no-problem problem ifs

I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audi... by Jay Mohr

I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.

audience care perception

It doesn't hurt my voice or anything because some impressions tear my throat apart. [Christophen] Walken is easy; I can do it in my sleep. They all know it by heart. I did it on The Simpsons. I'm surprised that people still want to hear it.

hurt sleep heart

'Christopher Walken' is my "Hotel California," but I've done it s... by Jay Mohr

'Christopher Walken' is my "Hotel California," but I've done it so much

hotel california done

There's not a rocket scientist, not a doctor, not an accountant that 30 years in goes, "Oh, now I'm getting it. Now I can't wait to get back out there because I'm better than ever."

doctors waiting years

I've been doing stand-up 29 years; there is no other career when you're finding your stride 30 years into it.

stride careers years

[Joan Rivers] is fantastic. AND SHE'S 80! There's no 80-year-old pitcher. If you're a running back and you're 28 they're like, "Oh, here he goes, turning the corner on his career, he's on the downswing..."

careers running years

There is a ceiling to it and there's a stigma. Billy Crystal as brilliant as he is, he's never going to be thought of as a contemporary like Alan Arkin.

crystals ceilings brilliant

Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you're not Brad Pitt; you're never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia LaBeouf or Leo DiCaprio. You're a comic.

comic comedian class

The allure becomes, "Can I make these rooms bigger?" Can I fill these 1,500-seat rooms? Then the allure is, how much, if we're being honest, how much can I squeeze out of it financially?

allure honest rooms

I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I don't care who knows it but I don't do it on stage. People that disagree with me that are listening to my podcast that are not Christian, I'm not trying to sell them Christianity and I make it very clear.

christian people thinking

My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When I talked to Kelly [George Carlin's daughter] about it, she said that George Carlin once took her at about 12 years old and said, "I've figured it out." And he says it in one of his specials sort of - he goes, "We're all energy and we're all connected. That goldfish you have, you, me, that boot laying in the street, we're all pieces of light to a giant electron.

daughter light atheist

Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.

tickets mouths people