Gary Chapman: What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own...

If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.

Gary Chapman

intimate-relationships wish desire

Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.

Gary Chapman

hurt listening heart

Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.

Gary Chapman

demand love-is giving

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.

Gary Chapman

encouragement giving believe

Conflicts are not a sign you've married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.

Gary Chapman

wrong-person marriage love

Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.

Gary Chapman

emotional real love-is

Love is reaching out to try to get to the other person.

Gary Chapman

reaching trying love-is

In marriage it is never having my own way. It is rather discovering our way.

Gary Chapman

positive-marriage discovering way

The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.

Gary Chapman

one-you-love want love-is

What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated, while at the same time seeking to reciprocate. To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality. Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.

Gary Chapman

emotional personality appreciation

Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. (1 Cor 13:5)

Gary Chapman

past-failures score past

Lack of love from parents often motivates their children to go searching for love in other relationships. This search is often misguided and leads to further disappointment.

Gary Chapman

parent disappointment children

..there is hope. That's the marvelous thing about being human. We can change our future. We need not be enslaved by the experiences of the past. We can learn to love even when we have not received love.

Gary Chapman

inspirational-love past needs

Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.

Gary Chapman

running long children

Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank

Gary Chapman

language-of-love emotional children

Love makes requests, not demands.

Gary Chapman

request demand

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.

Gary Chapman

wonderful-day yesterday new-day

True love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run it's course.

Gary Chapman

courses running

All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.

Gary Chapman

feels

In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain.

Gary Chapman

pain hurt may

What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.