When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey. Al Yankovic More Quotes by Al Yankovic More Quotes From Al Yankovic As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy. Al Yankovic dadablefather If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under. Al Yankovic toiletspoliticalpaper That's a big part of my life - doing things that I'm not prepared to do. Doing things that I don't know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them. I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I'll catch up. Al Yankovic depthcomforttrying As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.” Al Yankovic fools-daywisemen Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely. Al Yankovic hamburgerssickyears If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it. Al Yankovic money-cant-buy-happinesssassyifs My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child. Al Yankovic only-childbrotherchildren I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best. Al Yankovic obvioustryingsometimes There are probably a few library fines I haven't paid yet, but I'm a pretty clean-cut guy overall. Al Yankovic librarycuttingguy It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III. Al Yankovic militarywarpeace That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism. Al Yankovic gatewaysreadingkids As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not. Al Yankovic suitsdoestuff I'm an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation. Al Yankovic bagsgirlhair I can't get too offended when somebody parodies me. Al Yankovic offendedparodyi-can You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love. Al Yankovic bungeetowersrelationship I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know. Al Yankovic stuffattentionlooks I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing. Al Yankovic geekcomedyimportant I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW! Al Yankovic careerssonghands People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better. Al Yankovic get-betterpeopleschool I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s. Al Yankovic rock-n-rollrocksthinking
