When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?' Quentin Crisp More Quotes by Quentin Crisp More Quotes From Quentin Crisp It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style. Quentin Crisp runningpigsinspirational The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it Quentin Crisp neighborindividualitycuriosity You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. Quentin Crisp loverelationshiplife If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. Quentin Crisp sarcasticsuccessfunny The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity. Quentin Crisp rockspartylove Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change; they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice. Quentin Crisp choiceswiseart It's a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy. Quentin Crisp strangepaypeople One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend. Quentin Crisp weekendlovepromise However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. Quentin Crisp sarcasticmenfunny The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. Quentin Crisp hilarioussarcasticfunny It's been agony but I couldn't have done it any other way. Quentin Crisp agonydoneway The flagrantly gay Quentin Crisp dealt with homophobic bullying by refusing to bow to its onslaught. His number listed in the phone directory, he responded to derogatory remarks accompanied with a stated intent to kill him by asking, "Would you like to make an appointment?" Quentin Crisp bullyingphonesgay If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn, and were then to lay his own garden path diagonally from one corner to the other, that man's soul would be lost. Originality is only to be praised when not prefaced by the look to right and left. Quentin Crisp gardensoulmen There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings. Quentin Crisp winterlongthinking To my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. Quentin Crisp despiseforgivingknows The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. Quentin Crisp marriagesuccessfulrelationship Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together, I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: If you truly love me, kill the bartender. Quentin Crisp braverunninglove The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. Quentin Crisp hilariousforgivenessthinking In England, nobody's your friend. Quentin Crisp england I take it to be axiomatic that people are revolted by witnessing the shameless gratification of an appetite they do not share. Quentin Crisp shamelesssharepeople
