When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?! Mort Sahl More Quotes by Mort Sahl More Quotes From Mort Sahl A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now. Mort Sahl conservativewantfirsts There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry! Mort Sahl botoxangrygirl Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater? Mort Sahl underwaterguyfirsts What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except the drone. Mort Sahl sin-citylas-vegashangover I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical! Mort Sahl radical Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose? Mort Sahl libyalosessaid The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department. Mort Sahl mediastatesnew-york Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost. Mort Sahl carterdemiselost We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man Mort Sahl compassionmenbelieve Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even. Mort Sahl committeesjail Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times. Mort Sahl insensitivecomedianinsanity If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job. Mort Sahl planetspersonsjobs Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere. Mort Sahl sinceretelevision Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry. Mort Sahl hatesorrymen My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing. Mort Sahl agonizingeditingneeds The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on. Mort Sahl waitingwatchespeople I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators. Mort Sahl actressesfemaleacting You haven't lived until you've died in California Mort Sahl californiainspirationfunny I made the mistake early in my career, when I moved to Hollywood, of being attracted to actresses. I used to go out exclusively with actresses and other female impersonators. Mort Sahl femalecareersmistake Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way. Mort Sahl guyfeetnight
