Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner. W. C. Fields More Quotes by W. C. Fields More Quotes From W. C. Fields When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. W. C. Fields lost-everythingcomedyhope When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer. W. C. Fields lawyermoneyifs Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do. W. C. Fields smartcleverfunny Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol. W. C. Fields hysteriareligiousdrinking I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin. W. C. Fields hollywoodendsdrinking Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy. W. C. Fields fieldsdrinkingthinking I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face. W. C. Fields humorousmemoriesfunny How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart? W. C. Fields cost-of-livingracetwo I can do anything I want to do! W. C. Fields i-cancan-dowant I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game. W. C. Fields shellsunited-statesgames I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything. W. C. Fields knows I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. W. C. Fields drink Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died. W. C. Fields buriedmy-wifewife Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together! W. C. Fields barsdrinkingtogether If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon. W. C. Fields old-hollywoodsaloonsifs The best thing to break is a contract. W. C. Fields best-thingscontractsbreak I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother. W. C. Fields my-ownmother I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers. W. C. Fields businessraceyears The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it. W. C. Fields comediancan-do I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees. W. C. Fields racetreepeople
