Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right. by Clive James

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Clive James

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It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerf... by Clive James

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

powerful witty science

Sick of being a prisoner of my childhood, I want to put it behind... by Clive James

Sick of being a prisoner of my childhood, I want to put it behind me.

childhood sick want

Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing. Those who lack humour are without judgment and should be trusted with nothing.

common-sense dancing moving

Twin miracles of mascara, her eyes looked like the corpses of two small crows that had crashed into a chalk cliff.

miracle eye two

When I finally embraced abstinence it was because of the simple urge to work a longer day. Thus, without joining Alcoholics Anonymous, I was at last able to leave Piss-Artists Notorious.

humorous drinking funny

As a work of art, it reminds me of a long conversation between tw... by Clive James

As a work of art, it reminds me of a long conversation between two drunks

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life i... by Clive James

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

good-life wisdom america

Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts. by Clive James

Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts.

schwarzenegger condom looks

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out. by Clive James

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

wisdom dull fiction

When I was young I never believed that Australia was anything else except blessed. I thought it was a little dull when I was young, but that was 'cause I was a snob.

australia causes blessed

Generally it is our failures that civilize us. Triumph confirms u... by Clive James

Generally it is our failures that civilize us. Triumph confirms us in our habits.

If an artist is any good at all, then he or she will have a later phase that's more interesting than the early one.

phases artist interesting

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a... by Clive James

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.

abstract confusion way

Among artists without talent Marxism will always be popular, since it enables them to blame society for the fact that nobody wants to hear what they have to say.

artist want facts

Bjorn Borg looks like a hunchbacked, jut-bottomed version of Lizabeth Scott, impersonating a bearded Apache princess.

princess tennis looks

Beyoncé and pathos are strangers. Amy Winehouse and pathos are flatmates, and you should see the kitchen.

amy kitchen classic

Jack Aubrey is a tremendous tower of strength and you always want... by Clive James

Jack Aubrey is a tremendous tower of strength and you always want to read about him.

I won't have to miss smoking any more. Nobody smokes where I'm going: It's like a row of restaurants in California.

california missing smoking

I was a big pothead for a short period. That was what ticked me off that I shouldn't go near hard drugs, actually, because I would consume the stuff as if it was going out of style and it rapidly occurred to me that if I ever tried a hard drug, the same thing would happen, so I never did.

style going-out drug

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

psychopath dog funny