Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can't the rest of us make them go away?! Bill Maher More Quotes by Bill Maher More Quotes From Bill Maher The Hollywood executives are, like, ‘We’re not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we’re capitalists. We want to sell our movies in China (and) they don’t like Kevin Hart.’ Bill Maher kevinracisthollywood You're not a patriot unless even when you lose, it's still your country. Bill Maher patriotstillscountry It's understandable why a minority that was treated as badly as blacks in this country have been for so long would, when they finally found themselves on top, brag about it and want to shout from the rooftops. Bill Maher wantlongcountry We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called 'trickle down.' That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this: 'We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it.' Bill Maher programeconomictheory There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater. Bill Maher mexiconewstoday Like it or not, we're still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation. Bill Maher primitivetribessuperstitions During the debate, Bush was asked by a lady to name three mistakes he's made. And Bush responded, this debate, the last debate and the next debate. Bill Maher threenamesmistake Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing that men never think is, "Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read." Bill Maher sexymenthinking The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies. Bill Maher shameofficewould-be Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less. Bill Maher typelike-youguy I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers. Bill Maher room-servicesandwichestwo The Drug War is an addiction, really. Bill Maher addictiondrugwar I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth. Bill Maher correctnesssensitivitypolitical The only silver lining I can find is that British accents aren't sexy anymore. Bill Maher accentssilversexy BP today finally managed to almost completely stop the flow of information. Bill Maher informationflowtoday They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton. Bill Maher radiodoeworld You can't get saved if you don't play. Bill Maher savedifsplay Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote. It looks like he's trying to influence the election. And I'll tell you, it's not going to work. Americans know Osama bin Laden does not pick our president. The Supreme Court does. Bill Maher upsettryingpeople What is with this campy fixation on all things Ronald Reagan? They talk about him the way gay people talk about Barbra Streisand. I think they want him on a stamp so they can lick his ass. I think they wanted to name airports after him so they can say, "I'm coming into Reagan!" Bill Maher airportsgaythinking Of course, there are questions that plague all of us. How did we get here? What happens when we die? Is there a heaven? Am I on the list? Who let the dogs out? Bill Maher listsdogheaven
