With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them. Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk? Erma Bombeck junk empty nests Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Erma Bombeck like-you worry Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children. Erma Bombeck surviving rewards children Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. Erma Bombeck kiwi fruit brown Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it. Erma Bombeck getting-high clubs book Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it. Erma Bombeck parent children people Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Erma Bombeck granted sunset kids Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence. Erma Bombeck remembers-you remember-you men Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain. Erma Bombeck someone-you-love pain watches I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. Erma Bombeck blow mind brain A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck marriage husband birthday There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast. Erma Bombeck teach Grandmas can shed the yoke of responsibility, relax and enjoy their grandchildren in a way that was not possible when they were raising their own children. And they can glow in the realisation that here is their seed of life that will harvest generations to come. Erma Bombeck grandma responsibility children I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her "before" picture. Erma Bombeck before-and-after turkeys magazines I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!" was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me. Erma Bombeck realizing doors television Myths that need clarification: "Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach." False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos. Erma Bombeck california utah beach A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. Erma Bombeck friends cute funny Phrases and their actual meanings: My teacher has never liked me. Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly. Erma Bombeck dog teacher children It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today. Erma Bombeck training motherhood jobs Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. Erma Bombeck entertaining literature kids
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