You already have one asshole, you don't need another one Greg Behrendt More Quotes by Greg Behrendt More Quotes From Greg Behrendt Part of me also knows that this generation is the least racist and most pro-gay, so that's great. But they have a real lack of gravitas. And they have no taste in music. Vampire Weekend? Can we play some music, please? Can we rock out for a minute? Where's your Metallica? Greg Behrendt weekend gay real There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend. Greg Behrendt ex-boyfriend guy together So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates. Greg Behrendt becoming-an-adult adults kind Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of. Greg Behrendt change mind people Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster. Greg Behrendt notes faster long Don't waste the pretty Greg Behrendt waste I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book. Greg Behrendt dating comedian book How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'? Greg Behrendt white believe thinking Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves. Greg Behrendt wife children people I'm no longer a prisoner of my fears. Which really just means I'm using real butter. Greg Behrendt prisoner real mean If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine. Greg Behrendt sweaters fine pants It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People. Greg Behrendt pretending insects people My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day. Greg Behrendt wife want beautiful Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time. Greg Behrendt wasted-time wasting-time blow For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing. Greg Behrendt mess breakup change I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you. Greg Behrendt halloween attitude kids It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry. Greg Behrendt childhood lasts dream Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.) Greg Behrendt cheater Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex. Greg Behrendt feelings mean sex Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges Greg Behrendt rewards challenges
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