You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality. Quentin Crisp More Quotes by Quentin Crisp More Quotes From Quentin Crisp When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?' Quentin Crisp atheistpeacebelieve I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises. Quentin Crisp passionatepeoplepromise Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost? Quentin Crisp flirtyflirtinghouse The measure of woman's distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr's crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain. Quentin Crisp crownscomplaininglying Many [hooligans] discover to their shame that they have scruples; they have roots and, greatest disadvantage of all, they have hope. The fathers superior of the order do not try to influence their children in Satan; they merely shake their heads in sorrow. They know that the apostate must work out his own damnation. Quentin Crisp orderfatherchildren There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. Quentin Crisp funnykidsyears Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist - but then what isn't? Quentin Crisp blocklyingpeople The search for a life-style involves a journey to the interior. This is not altogether a pleasant experience, because you not only have to take stock of what you consider your assets but you also have to take a long look at what your friends call “the trouble with you.” Nevertheless, the journey is worth making. Quentin Crisp stylejourneylong Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. Quentin Crisp diplomatic-relationscommunicationtruth Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin. Quentin Crisp readingbookway Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. Quentin Crisp lifefunnyway My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. Quentin Crisp fathers-daydadmother I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do? Quentin Crisp bookartschool Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan. Quentin Crisp swansmarriagewant Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies. Quentin Crisp emotionalrealself For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. Quentin Crisp lovefunnysex I approach my life with logic. I do not act on impulse or emotion. I very seldom find that I say, 'And then I can't think what came over me, but I did this or that or the other.' I nearly always know how I will act and I nearly always act in that way. I don't catch myself out in embarrassing situations because I've acted without forethought. I calculate what I will do. Quentin Crisp emotionwaythinking Men get laid, but women get screwed. Quentin Crisp sassywomensex If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family. Quentin Crisp familymissingaverage In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis. Quentin Crisp expanding-universeaddressessides
