You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team. Groucho Marx More Quotes by Groucho Marx More Quotes From Groucho Marx You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way Groucho Marx my-wayinspirationway Whatever it is, I'm against it. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. Groucho Marx realplaybook If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any. Groucho Marx garbagewantmen Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. Groucho Marx clubsorganizationpeople Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. Groucho Marx housewatchespeople My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs Groucho Marx inspirationbrotherthinking Patience is the art of finding something else to do. Groucho Marx stupiditygodart A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Groucho Marx catinspirationalfunny Women should be obscene, not heard. Groucho Marx obsceneshouldheard Time wounds all heels. Groucho Marx inspirationallifefunny Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx marriageinspirationalfunny Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning. Groucho Marx feel-bettermorninginspirational I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling. Groucho Marx agreementpracticelaw If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. Groucho Marx wittymenfunny I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx smileinspirationalfunny This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added Groucho Marx dinnertwofirsts Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. Groucho Marx crazywittyfunny Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. Groucho Marx marriagelovepeople
