Simon Munnery Professions : Comedian Born : 1967 Browse All Authors Top 17 quotes by Simon Munnery Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw. Simon Munnery draws suffering art He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance. Simon Munnery ambulance disagree fool If you only ever read one book in your life ... I highly recommend you keep Simon Munnery ifs mouths book Although no man is an island, you can make quite an effective raft out of six. Simon Munnery six islands men Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity. Simon Munnery vanity bees honey The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things. Simon Munnery vision bumps beautiful What do you get the man who has everything? Might I suggest a gravestone inscribed with the words: so what? Simon Munnery gravestone might men I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me. Simon Munnery losing worry looks I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth. Simon Munnery genius earth men Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably awful but mercifully brief. Simon Munnery life-is-like musical believe Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often. Simon Munnery supermodel bed When you look in the mirror and despair and none of your clothes seem appropriate, relax, put the kettle on. It might suit you. Simon Munnery suits-you clothes mirrors Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water. Simon Munnery water two years All men are brothers. Hence war. Simon Munnery brother men war It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother. Simon Munnery vanity mirrors men I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame. Simon Munnery blame individual african-american I wear glasses myself. As an affectation, as a badge of high intellect and to see with. Simon Munnery badges intellect glasses Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
