Stewart Francis Professions : Comedian Browse All Authors Top 15 quotes by Stewart Francis My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that. Stewart Francis preoccupation vengeance therapists I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified Stewart Francis karaoke play night Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down. Stewart Francis climbing rocks sex My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic." Stewart Francis dad drinking sound So what if I cant spell Armageddon, its not the end of the world. Stewart Francis armageddon end-of-the-world what-if My father is schizophrenia, but he's good people. Stewart Francis good-people father people I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice. Stewart Francis quitting voice jobs Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me Stewart Francis parks wonder looks I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting! Stewart Francis ships saws together So what if I can't spell Armaggedon? ... it's not the end of the world. Stewart Francis what-if ends world I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice Stewart Francis choices use thinking Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear. Stewart Francis dad mirrors views You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks. Stewart Francis names giving kids Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West Stewart Francis arses kim west Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived. Stewart Francis clubs excuse bridges Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
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