Bernard Manning Professions : Comedian Born : August 13, 1930 Died : June 18, 2007 Browse All Authors Top 9 quotes by Bernard Manning I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. Bernard Manning christmas birthday funny I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool. Bernard Manning silly years thinking If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober. Bernard Manning sober drink want We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk. Bernard Manning sleep witty funny I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women. Bernard Manning rejected men sex I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time. Bernard Manning driving mind laughing I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image. Bernard Manning self law mother You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe Bernard Manning fats believe Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore. Bernard Manning Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
