Henry Cloud Professions : Clinical psychologist Born : 1956 Browse All Authors Top 111 quotes by Henry Cloud A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not. Henry Cloud love-respect tests doe We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change. Henry Cloud change motivational inspirational Whatever's happening today, remember it is only ONE SCENE in a long movie. Don't treat it like it's the whole story. Keep writing the story. Henry Cloud stories writing long When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility. Henry Cloud responsibility hurt loss When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain. Henry Cloud fuel able brain Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them. Henry Cloud leaving people moving The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will. Henry Cloud care connected heart Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives. Henry Cloud building essentials boundaries In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow. Henry Cloud leader ends two The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it. Henry Cloud fool doe trying Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. Henry Cloud pruning alive moving When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It's not your problem. It's not your responsibility. You don't have to respond, but I'd like something from you. Henry Cloud responsibility two people The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands. Henry Cloud immature demand mature-person The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do it, they must also be held accountable for what they do. Accountability clarifies freedom. In the teams and companies where you see boundary confusion, power struggles, control, over-reaching of one's line of responsibility, you will also see lapses in accountability as well. Henry Cloud team responsibility struggle Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom. Henry Cloud perception age love You will not grow without attempting to do things you are unable to do. Henry Cloud attempting grows Grief is accepting the reality of what is. That is grief's job and purpose-to allow us to come to terms with the way things really are, so that we can move on. Grief is a gift of God. Without it, we would all be condemned to a life of continually denying reality, arguing or protesting against reality, and never growing from the realities we experience. Henry Cloud grief jobs moving The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) We always need to forgive, but (2) we don’t always achieve reconciliation. Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt that they owe us. We write off the person’s debt, and she no longer owes us. We no longer condemn her. She is clean. Only one party is needed for forgiveness: me. The person who owes me a debt does not have to ask my forgiveness. It is a work of grace in my heart. Henry Cloud party heart writing We all make mistakes, but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones. Henry Cloud mistake success people Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives. Henry Cloud taken giving people Similar Authors Oliver James clinical-psychologist Melissa Farley clinical-psychologist Neil Clark Warren clinical-psychologist Pamela Stephenson clinical-psychologist All Authors
