Jay London Professions : ComedianBorn : September 12, 1966 Browse All Authors Top 37 quotes by Jay London My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese. Jay London whole-familycheesecheesy A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock. Jay London rocksopportunitywindow I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out. Jay London boyfriendtearsfather I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. Jay London lossbookfall I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights Jay London wittylifefunny It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes Jay London dogwittyfunny I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? Jay London medicaldoctorshands My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings Jay London wittylifefunny I went to an audition the other day, they were casting 13 people to be clouds, 14 people showed up, it was overcast. Jay London castingcloudspeople I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody. Jay London hilariouswomenfunny His puppyhood was a period of foolish rebellion. He was always worsted, but he fought back because it was his nature to fight back. And he was unconquerable. Jay London rebellionfightingdog Did you know that today will never be tomorrow. Jay London tomorrowknowstoday They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults. Jay London euthanasiaadultssaid A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked. Jay London workjobslaughing My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. Jay London fitgirlfriendpersonality After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride. Jay London nicknamesprideyears I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me. Jay London identityworryneeds I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time. Jay London I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it. Jay London trainingcockroachesmilitary I model irregular clothing. Jay London clothingsmodels Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedianAll Authors
