Jeff Garlin Professions : Comedian Born : June 5, 1962 Browse All Authors Top 31 quotes by Jeff Garlin Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings. Jeff Garlin comedian forget sometimes There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. Jeff Garlin treats laughing people The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot. Jeff Garlin idiot kind thinking I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit. Jeff Garlin fit felt feels I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip. Jeff Garlin gossip hate evil When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured - it's either there or it isn't. Jeff Garlin actors feelings trying The reality is [in] any emotional situation, a compulsive eater eats or an alcoholic Jeff Garlin emotional reality people As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money. Jeff Garlin rich individual I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not. Jeff Garlin be-who-you-are comedy stuff If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac. Jeff Garlin good-man maniacs ifs By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life ! Jeff Garlin nerves night life The only thing that I demand of the audience is that they listen to what I'm saying. Other than that, they owe me nothing. They don't owe me a thing. Jeff Garlin listen saying nothing me My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate. Jeff Garlin saying parents doing basketball Forget 'full of myself,' I'm not remotely impressed with myself. Jeff Garlin full myself impressed forget For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. Jeff Garlin me hockey baseball chess I do love directing. It's probably my favorite thing that I do. Jeff Garlin directing favorite thing love Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That's why I don't go climb mountains. Jeff Garlin climb mountains go challenges I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David. Jeff Garlin totally being comfortable funny I like independent movies, documentaries. There's not a lot of movies that are commercially made that I dig. Jeff Garlin movies like independent made I've avoided doing network shows because I don't think they're true to real families. Jeff Garlin true doing think real Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
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