Joe Mande Professions : Stand-up comedian Born : March 16, 1983 Browse All Authors Top 11 quotes by Joe Mande I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a lot of dog jokes. I should probably give up now, because I'm writing jokes about my dog. Joe Mande giving-up dog writing On stage and in person, I think I am nice, thoughtful, and empathetic. But for some reason when I'm online, I become super aggressive and unhinged. I should probably get off of Twitter and see a therapist. Joe Mande thoughtful nice thinking My first time performing was in the black box theater of my high school's basement as a member of 'Clownaz,' the school's improv team. We charged money for tickets, saying the proceeds went to our school's recycling program. Then, immediately after the show, we divided up all the money and kept it. Joe Mande black team school Martin Noakes is a British conspiracy theorist who also happens to be maybe the best songwriter in the world, in my opinion. His songs are beautiful. They're crazy. That 9/11 song... no song has ever gotten into my head more. And it's inappropriate. You can't just like walk around singing about "jet fuel doesn't melt steel." Joe Mande crazy song beautiful You should really get some quotes about our show. Noah loves when people talk about him. Negatively or positively. Joe Mande should shows people The flute is a weird instrument, especially when played solo. Joe Mande I definitely talk about stuff I watch, but it's longer-form stuff. Joe Mande I grew up watching Letterman, 'Seinfeld,' 'SNL,' and Monty Python movies. But nothing made me want to get into comedy more than when 'Mr. Show' started airing. Joe Mande movies nothing me comedy I'm a big foodie! I eat, like, three times a day... but most of all, I'm a breathie. Breathing air? That's the best thing in the world! I couldn't go two minutes without breathing. Joe Mande best day three world Whatever comedian says he doesn't read comments, I never believe him, because we all have the same pathological problem to see what people think of us, and it sucks, because you try not to take it personally, and people are monsters and idiots. Joe Mande think you believe people I don't even know if people even care what a 27-year-old Jewish kid thinks about politics. Joe Mande know politics care people Similar Authors Brandon T. Jackson stand-up-comedian Amy Schumer stand-up-comedian Bob Newhart stand-up-comedian Al Murray stand-up-comedian Bernie Mac stand-up-comedian Ben Elton stand-up-comedian All Authors
