Quotes by Funny Love You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny Youngman funny-love i-love-you marriage When one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes we wait too long looking at the closed door, and never realize that another door has been opened. Helen Keller funny-love doors long First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time. Honore de Balzac funny-love first-love love-is I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early. Jack Benny funny-love romantic-love love-you Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason funny-love marriage cheating God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. Jacques Deval funny-love men life Love loves to love love. James Joyce funny-love love life If you have nothing but love for your avocados, and you take joy in turning them into guacamole, all you need is someone to share it with. Jason Mraz funny-love inspirational-love joy I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? Jean Illsley Clarke best-love funny-love love-you Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like, "Look, gas, food, lodging, that's our exit, that's everything we need to be happy... Get off here, now!" But the man is focusing on the sign underneath that says, "Next exit 27 miles," and he thinks, "I can make it." Jerry Seinfeld funny-love commitment thinking On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man. Jim Davidson funny-love running night My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers funny-love funny-relationship love-you When turkeys mate they think of swans. Johnny Carson funny-love inspiration drinking If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. Katharine Hepburn funny-love wedding marriage Women love a self-confident bald man. Larry David funny-love romantic-love love-you Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. Leonardo da Vinci funny-love funny-relationship marriage Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. Lynda Barry funny-love funny-valentines-day love Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. Mae West funny-love wedding running If I had no sense of humor I should long ago have committed suicide. Mahatma Gandhi funny-love wise inspirational Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason Mason Cooley funny-love friendship sex «12345»
