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Quotes by Funny Work

A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your intervi... by Alan Davies

A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.

Alan Davies
funny-work interviews jobs
If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you. by Christopher Titus

If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.

Christopher Titus
funny-work philosophical philosophy
If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick... by Claude Maxwell MacDonald

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

Claude Maxwell MacDonald
funny-work hard-work success

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

Craig Ferguson
funny-work guy home
No one's dream job involves a kiosk. by Damien Fahey

No one's dream job involves a kiosk.

Damien Fahey
funny-work dream jobs

Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.

Daniel Handler
funny-work holiday talking

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.

Dennis Miller
funny-work errors jobs

It might be said that it is the ideal of the employer to have production without employees and the ideal of the employee is to have income without work.

E. F. Schumacher
funny-work income might

Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.

Ed Bernard
funny-work friday people
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. by Kin Hubbard

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Kin Hubbard
funny-work fate destiny
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. by Laurence J. Peter

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Laurence J. Peter
funny-work boss levels
The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay. by Oscar Wilde

The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay.

Oscar Wilde
funny-work appreciation jobs
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really fee... by Randy Glasbergen

Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.

Randy Glasbergen
funny-work company feels

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

Scott Adams
funny-work looks ideas
There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft. by Scott Adams

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

Scott Adams
funny-work lines marketing
I've been promoted to middle management. I never thought I'd sink... by Tim Gould

I've been promoted to middle management. I never thought I'd sink so low.

Tim Gould
funny-work boss middle-management
The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mas... by Wernher von Braun

The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.

Wernher von Braun
funny-work technology men
The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are alway... by Zig Ziglar

The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.

Zig Ziglar
funny-motivational funny-work inspirational
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