Quotes by Grandma I called my grandmother yesterday. She picks up the phone, 'Oh hello, dear, hold on a second, I just stepped out of the shower. Let me go put some clothes on.' I said, 'Hey Grandma, don't ever tell me you're naked again. Go put a lot of clothes on. Then put some more clothes on. I'm going to sit here and drink and try to forget you naked in my head.' I'll never eat raisins again. Greg Fitzsimmons grandmother phones grandma Does Grandpa love to baby-sit his grandchildren? Are you kidding? By day he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctor's or chip shots on the golf course. At night he and Grandma are too busy doing the cha-cha. Hal Boyle grandma golf baby I have meditated in the last two or three years. To discover what it means to sit and let sounds and movement wash over you has been brilliant. In some ways, that helped me understand where my grandma had gone. She had gone to a different world that we aren't quite connected to. Hannah Peel grandma over-you mean I have to confess I can't have the holiday season without "Hard Candy Christmas". For some reason, it makes me think of the sticky ribbon candy bowl my mid-western grandma always had. Hank Stuever holiday grandma thinking If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! Hannah Whitall Smith grandmother grandma fun It's easy to smile just to make other people feel better. But when a person fakes happy, it has edges. Regular people may not see, but the people who count, they can see the edges and the lines where your smile ends and the real you, the sadness (me) or the anger (Grandma) begins. Heidi W. Durrow sadness grandma real My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. Henny Youngman good-life grandma drinking A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a long time, pumping the water out, reviving him. They turn to the Jewish Grandma, and say, we saved your grandson. The little Jewish Grandma says, He had a hat! Henny Youngman grandma beach kids The Dominican Republic says 'We're black behind the ears.' And in Mexico, 'there's a black grandma in the closet.' They know, they've just been intermarrying for a long time. But if we did the DNA of everyone in Mexico a whole lot of people would have a whole lot of black in them. Henry Louis Gates dna grandma long Dear Grandmamma, with what we give. We humbly pray that you may live. For many, many happy years: Although you bore us all to tears. Hilaire Belloc grandma giving years It's one of nature's way that we often feel closer to distant generations than to the generation immediately preceding us. Igor Stravinsky grandma nature relationship You can't do anything for a person who is stuck between being happy and being miserable. All you can do is get trapped in the middle, and anyone in the middle just gets squished.' -Grandma Jack Gantos middle miserable grandma My grandma always said, "Trouble is what God uses to prepare you for better things!" If you have trouble in your life, you are in a valley. If you are in a valley, you are being prepared for something bigger, better, greater; something you probably could not handle now. Iyanla Vanzant valleys grandma use He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. James Finn Garner grandma house action Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes for a living. Jamie Foxx piano grandma men I’m going back to bed,” Grandma said when Mooner and Dougie left. “This doesn’t look too interesting. I liked it better the other night when you were on the floor with the bounty hunter.” Morelli gave me the same kind of look Desi always gave Lucy when she’d just done something incredibly stupid. “It’s a long story,” I said. “I bet. Janet Evanovich grandma stupid night Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either. Janet Evanovich saws grandma littles I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all the confusion, what with being locked up in a refrigerator, I plumb forgot what was in here to start with. But being that this is a 45 magnum, the most powerful handgun in existence, and it could blow your head clean off, you just got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky today? Well, do you, punk?" Christ," Spiro whispered. "She thinks she's f**king Clint Eastwood. Janet Evanovich grandma powerful kings Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs. Janet Evanovich grandma mother thinking The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting. Janet Evanovich senior grandma dog «1234567891011»
