Quotes by category:Grandma

I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.

Janet Evanovich

work-out grandma white

My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. "We think this guy killed Fred." "Who's Fred?" "My uncle," I told him. "He's married to Mabel." "Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing.

Janet Evanovich

uncles grandma father

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich

fart grandma sometimes

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.

Janet Evanovich

oxygen grandma talking

Saved by the grandma" Ranger

Janet Evanovich

rangers saved grandma

I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate." Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

grandma real two

He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said. [Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked." "I wish you hadn't told me that, babe." "Everyone I know wants to see you naked." "And you?" "Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.

Janet Evanovich

grandma mother lying

You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens," Grandma said.

Janet Evanovich

devil grandma missing

You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!

Janet Evanovich

teeth grandma needs

[Stephanie] 'You see, Mrs. Mayer was going on about George's lodge, and how he wanted to be buried with his ring, and so Grandma had to check the ring out, and in the process broke off one of George's fingers. Turns out the finger was wax. Somehow Kenny got into the mortuary this morning, left Spiro a note, and chopped off George's finger. And then while I was at the mall tonight with Mary Lou, Kenny threatened me in the shoe department. That must have been when he put the finger in my pocket.' [Morelli] 'Have you been drinking?

Janet Evanovich

grandma drinking morning

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

sucker shots grandma

[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love" [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.

Janet Evanovich

grandma needs thinking

I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

grandma eye television

Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.

Janet Evanovich

wimps grandma said

At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.

Janet Evanovich

cameras grandma feet

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.

Jean Kerr

grandmother grandma thinking

Fences, unlike punishments, clearly mark out the perimeters of any specified territory. Young children learn where it is permissible to play, because their backyard fence plainly outlines the safe area. They learn about the invisible fence that surrounds the stove, and that Grandma has an invisible barrier around her cabinet of antique teacups.

Jeanne Elium

grandma play children

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

Jeff Foxworthy

redneck shoes grandma

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

Jeff Foxworthy

grandparent car grandma

I'm part Maori. My mum's Maori, and she raised me. And my grandma, she's Maori.

Jemaine Clement

mum raised grandma