A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs... by Shelley Berman

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

Shelley Berman

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Categorized in : Funny Business Humor

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is... by Shelley Berman

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

comedian awareness important

My whole act is confession. by Shelley Berman

My whole act is confession.

confession whole

As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy.

privacy culture sex

The most unusual salesman I ever met is a fellow who made a modest fortune purveying lightning rods. But he suddenly lost interest in his work. He got caught in a storm with a bunch of samples in his arms.

lightning storm arms

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them.... by Shelley Berman

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

reading math writing

If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?' And eventually he dies of thirst.

glasses water philosophy

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form... by Shelley Berman

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

comedy form art

I was an actor before becoming a comedian. by Shelley Berman

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

comedian becoming actors

I heard the other day of a man who paid a psychologist $50 to cure him of an inferiority complex - and later was fined $25 and costs for talking back to a traffic cop.

cost talking men

I developed several comedy phone calls. by Shelley Berman

I developed several comedy phone calls.

phone-calls comedy phones

I am careful with my material and presentation. by Shelley Berman

I am careful with my material and presentation.

presentation careful materials

Incidentally, I'm still looking for acting work, my first love. by Shelley Berman

Incidentally, I'm still looking for acting work, my first love.

first-love acting firsts

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

carnegie memorable firsts

I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor... by Shelley Berman

I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic.

dramatic teaching writing

I will always love to perform standup comedy. by Shelley Berman

I will always love to perform standup comedy.

comedy

Though it sold very well, I hated "The Edge." by Shelley Berman

Though it sold very well, I hated "The Edge."

wells hated edges

I quit smoking well over twenty years ago. by Shelley Berman

I quit smoking well over twenty years ago.

marijuana smoking years

While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun.

smile break-up fun

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before t... by Shelley Berman

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

comedian important believe

I am presently in my thirteenth year of teaching a graduate course at the University of Southern California.

california teaching years