A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields More Quotes by W. C. Fields More Quotes From W. C. Fields A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. W. C. Fields lines suffering men All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips. W. C. Fields plums insulting swallowing I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. W. C. Fields stronger drinking beer Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it. W. C. Fields worst chess world I would rather be living in Philadelphia. W. C. Fields comedy whole I never voted for anybody. I always voted against. W. C. Fields Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms. W. C. Fields restaurants towns mom Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with. W. C. Fields cynical smile morning I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness. W. C. Fields rumor greatness use Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth. W. C. Fields fifth drinking My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it? W. C. Fields humorous heart funny It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either. W. C. Fields drinking I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42. W. C. Fields girl two I never drink water... fish f**k in it. W. C. Fields fishes drinking water The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies. W. C. Fields movie play people I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside. W. C. Fields horse meat food The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog. W. C. Fields special dog running I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. W. C. Fields thieves my-best-friend president There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it. W. C. Fields sex Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt! W. C. Fields gambling horse remember
